They seem to have everything, and yet… they’re still miserable. Though its usage and popularity has fluctuated over the eras, the ‘Poor Little Rich Kid’ Trope has been around a long time. It can be a little off putting at first, making us wonder why a show or film is trying to make us feel bad for someone who seems to have so much. But the trope (when done well, at least) can actually hit at some really important universal truths about familial relationships and the importance of love and care. Hearing the old adage “money can’t buy happiness” can be grating, especially in financial times like these – but there is a kernel of truth in it. So to get a better understanding of this trope and why it keeps popping up on screen, let’s take a closer look at the Poor Little Rich Kid in film and television: the important truths the trope can expose, the places it falls flat, and why no matter how much we might love the characters, it’s still often hard for us to sympathize with them.

Living the Dream… All Alone

The wealthy are able to provide their family with life’s essentials – food, shelter, safety, education. But they can also give them so much more – a big house, designer clothes, lavish vacations, and all of the things they could ever want. And with all of that often comes a level of freedom. From the outside looking in, these kids have it made. They can literally buy anything, go anywhere, and very rarely if ever break the bank. But the parents who have this wealth to share usually didn’t make it by being kind and cuddly – and they often bring their same business-first mindset to family life, too.

“You’re so lucky your parents don’t give a sh*t about you…this place is awesome.” 21 Jump Street

In most of these parents’ eyes, giving their kid all of the things they could want is more than enough – the whole ‘emotional’ side of life can be left to someone else (or disregarded all together…) “Affluent neglect” is considered more difficult to identify since the neglect is emotional. They use money and gifts in place of real love, affection, and support.

“I can’t believe your dad paid for a private plane.” “It’s pretty much his only form of parenting. I guess I’ll take it.” “Well, thank you, Mr. Matthews!” Yellowjackets

While their high paying careers likely demand long hours and frequent business trips, many of these absent parents don’t even seem to care what’s going on with their offspring. In these cases, children are raised by nannies and caregivers, who become their sole parental figures. The parents may not care but some also don’t want another person taking their place or even distracting their kids with affection. These caregivers can be let go at any time, leaving the kids in search of another confidant. These kids grow to resent their absent parents, who always seem to put the business first – even while they enjoy the wealth that results, as they get older they come to realize what a large hole the emotional neglect has left in their lives.

“He was cold, he was calculating. He never told me he loved me. He never even told me he liked me…” Iron Man 2

Because of the emotional neglect at home, these kids can also have a hard time connecting with peers. Sometimes people just can’t seem to see past their wealth and view them as their own, individual person. A lot of the time, however, the rich kid can’t help but replicate their parent’s bad attitude – eventually making it so that almost no one can stand to be around them unless they’re getting something out of it financially. Sometimes the poor little rich kid is lucky and exists within a whole ecosystem of poor little rich kids – so even if they do get to be a little much, their peers pretty much get it because they’re living that life, too.

“You can tell us anything.” “We’re the non-judging Breakfast Club. We’re your best friends. Anything you did is something we did, too.” Gossip Girl

But often, their focus on flaunting their own wealth and making sure that everyone else feels their power leads to them ending up with no one in their corner at the end of the day.

We can see how this internal battle to find connection despite financial differences can lead to huge struggles even when the rich kid tries to be a good person on The O.C. Marissa Cooper is a beautiful, troubled, and wealthy teen living in Orange County who, one fateful evening, meets beautiful, troubled, and broke teen Ryan Atwood at the end of her driveway.

“Who are you?” “Whoever you want me to be” The O.C.

They have immediate chemistry, and spend the next three seasons trying (and trying and trying) to make their relationship work, but something always gets in the way. Sometimes that something is 2000s-teen-show-ridiculousness, but most of the time it’s just that they come from two totally different worlds and have a hard time seeing eye to eye – and Marissa in particular has a hard time fully grasping how Ryan’s struggles before they met really shaped his attitude towards life. Because she is so miserable herself, she can sometimes have a hard time remembering that other people have it even worse. But, importantly, Marissa always tries to do better, to grow as a person, and to be there for her friends, allowing her to evolve beyond just being another poor little rich kid. (If you want a deeper dive into Marissa’s story, make sure to check out our video on her!)

A recurring trend for wealthy young characters is attending boarding schools in different states or countries, putting kids in the capable hands of academics who will shape their lives for the better, and unburdening the parents. The schools may ensure they’re getting the best education but sending kids away for something other kids can do while living at home can send a confusing message.

“You’re talking about a guy whose happiest day was when he shipped me off to boarding school.” Iron Man 2

Even when the kids are lucky and do find interpersonal connections and deeper meaning, like Angus in The Holdovers, there’s still often a feeling that something is missing in their lives. In The Midnight Club, it’s implied that Cheri Ian’s wealthy parents sent her to Brightcliffe Hospice because they were too preoccupied with their lives in the entertainment business. She has a found family among her fellow terminally ill teens but that doesn’t completely make up for the fact that, instead of visiting their daughter, her parents just send meaningless gifts from abroad.

“Look, just because your parents aren’t here, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have family, you know? You’re family here…whether you realize it or not.” The Midnight Club

Parental Pressures

Ambitious parents of any economic status can pressure their children to be the perfect student, or perfect athlete, oftentimes because they want them to have a better upbringing than they had. But on screen, those with extensive resources often have even higher expectations – becoming fluent in multiple languages, attending Ivy league universities, interning with influential industry figures, etc. They’re overbearing perfectionists who value success and appearances over the well-being of their children, forcing them to continue their legacy no matter what kind of life the kid might have wanted for themselves. When it’s ingrained in them who they have to be, they find themselves conforming to these ideas even when they try to escape them – and some end up hating themselves for it. This affects their sense of identity, and if any level of fame is in the mix, that means they’re also more vulnerable to invasion of privacy and public scrutiny. They feel the need to perform this role that’s been set out for them at all costs, because they never figured out how to be themselves.

“I mean, it… it’s the one thing I know how to do.” “Well, it’s not all about you.” Succession

Being afraid of failure leads to anxiety, depression, increased stress, and lack of self-confidence when they even think about letting their parents down. Parents may only pay attention to them if they outshine others – or if it’s an expectation, even meeting or surpassing those standards won’t warrant praise. There are a lot of well-off families on Pretty Little Liars, but Spencer Hastings in particular lives under the immense pressure of following in her lawyer parents and perfect older sister Melissa’s footsteps. As a high schooler, she’s expected to maintain straight As, participate in extracurriculars – often holding leadership positions – do volunteer work, and attend her family alma mater. It’s no wonder that Spencer’s a perfectionist – and why any sense of failure sends her spiraling.

“I’m not going to UPenn.” “Of course you are.” “I’m not, I got my rejection letter.” “Spencer, this isn’t funny.” “Okay, well I think it’s a scream.” Pretty Little Liars

Some try to escape their overbearing families, like Ezra Fitzgerald, another PLL character with a family who strives to keep up appearances. They also might choose to rebel against the path laid out for them since birth, like Emily in Paris’ Mindy Chen, daughter of the Zipper King of China, who left behind inheriting her father’s business and instead decided to forge her own path in life. Despite being cut off financially, she still leads a relatively lavish life as an au pair and aspiring singer in Paris. When her dad tries to lure her back home with the promise of a luxury car and a house, Mindy refuses and continues making her own way – even if it means being a bathroom attendant and busking on the street. When the truth about her family is exposed, her bandmates don’t react well…

“How do you think this feels for me? I’m trying to escape my past and now it’s all over the Internet.” “Oh, poor little rich girl!” Emily in Paris

But she’s dedicated to being her own person and really putting in the work to make her dreams a reality.

And then there’s Succession, where we get three different strands of ‘poor little rich kid’ (plus a ‘detached, just cut me the check I’m tired’ rich kid’.)

“I’m the eldest boy! I am the eldest boy!” “You’re not!” Succession

Logan Roy built a media empire and essentially took over the world. He has an unimaginable amount of money, seemingly infinite power, and even a direct line to presidents (and a big part in selecting them.) The entire show is essentially about unpacking how his overbearing, terrifying nature broke the psyches of his children. They all feel a simultaneous hate and love for him – they know he’s evil but they also don’t want anything more in life than they want his approval. They have access to essentially unlimited wealth, and really all they need to do is hang out and continue enjoying the high life. But because their entire lives revolve around not finding happiness or growing as people but fighting each other for their father’s approval, they continually ruin their own lives on their impossible quest to be Logan’s chosen child. They don’t have any friends, their relationships with their spouses are strained (to put it lightly,) and they have zero conceptualization of themselves outside of being Logan Roy’s Child. And they. are. miserable.

“The good thing about having a family that doesn’t love you is you learn to live without it.” Succession

Sympathy For The Devils?

While we love watching all of these shows and films and getting into the psyche of these poor little rich kids, it can still be difficult to feel that bad for them. Whatever horrible or traumatic thing they have to go through, lots of other people also have to endure without the cushion of endless funds. Money can’t fix everything, but it can make a lot of things a lot easier to deal with.

“Is it me, or do you kinda feel sorry for Chris D’Amico?” “Yeah. It must be terrible to have a rich Dad and everything you want.” “The fact that he’s always on his own?” Kick-Ass

Wealth means you have options to deal with your problems – take time off of work (if you even have a job to begin with,) see a top-notch therapist, go on a shopping spree. But even with the safety net that money provides, trauma can cut deep and harm you for life. And that’s really the part of the poor little rich kid trope that is a useful exploration of truth: neglect and isolation can be so damaging that not even wealth can fix them. They’re the kinds of things that us normies are often told to just get over – there’s a societal idea that if we work hard enough, just amass enough capital, we can buy our way out of our mental and emotional problems. But the poor little rich kid trope shows that, no, these things are so damaging that they can harm everyone. Showing how neglect can be enough to totally derail the life of someone on screen who seems to have everything else can help it hit home that we shouldn’t be beating ourselves up for not overcoming all of our problems when we also have to deal with, you know, all of these other problems, too.

But just because the poor little rich kids might not always be terribly sympathetic, that doesn’t mean that we don’t empathize with them on occasion. Rich kids are still susceptible to mental health problems including depression, anxiety, and substance misuse just like us. Gossip Girl’s Blair Waldorf was one of the wealthiest teens on the Upper East Side, who regularly went on shopping sprees, had wild nights out with friends, and hosted countless parties. But as we saw, her life was not perfect and she desperately tried to make it appear. Under the stress of her overbearing mother, her parents’ divorce, and fighting with her best friend, Blair can’t help but begin cracking under pressure. In season one, the series touched on how she had developed an eating disorder that began spiraling out of control – not helped at all by her mother who was well aware of Blair’s suffering but still continued to nitpick her looks. Thankfully in the end Blair did have her friend (and her surrogate-mother Dorota) by her side to help her through it all. It doesn’t negate Balir’s wealth (or her many, many bad deeds) – but it does help remind us that even these people who seem to have everything can still be struggling in ways not so dissimilar to us.

Conclusion

Immense wealthy, and all of the drama that comes with it, can be of great use to writers. It can provide laughs and it can give you the leeway to explore some pretty dark sides of the human psyche without it feeling too terribly grave – it feels a lot less bad to watch someone have a breakdown in a penthouse. There’s not necessarily a problem with the trope, or with remembering that rich people are still technically people, as long as the writers aren’t trying to use these problems to excuse the bad behavior of the ultra-wealthy. But exploring how trauma – and parental neglect in particular – affects us all on a deep, human level can be an interesting narrative thread.

“‘Poor little rich girl, what does she know about misery.’” // “What I was thinking was, what could’ve happened to this girl to make her think she had no way out?” Titanic