Superficiality is nothing new – but it does feel like we’ve entered a new superficial era in recent years. Social media has made people way more aware of their own looks, clothes, houses, pets, even water bottles – and how they can bend the truth online to appear the way they really want to. On the one hand, there’s been a boom of increasingly negative content seemingly aimed at making the creator feel superior while making everyone else feel worse. But on the other hand, many have started embracing facets of superficiality as a way to empower themselves. So… is this new superficial era something dangerous, inspiring, or… something else all together?

The Lure of the Superficial

Superficiality – the focus on surface level aspects of being in lieu of anything deeper – has, of course, been around for a long time. People have been caught up in the image they present to the world seemingly since the dawn of time. And it’s not just based around ego – looking “the right way” and having “the right things” can have real, tangible advantages in society.

“You will never be more beautiful or thin or happy than you are right now. I just want you to make the most of it.” Gossip Girl

But while the results of this more shallow focus have long been rewarded, this attitude being displayed openly has often been met with disdain. It’s the idea that, of course you’re supposed to force yourself to fit into these molds and give up any part of you that doesn’t, but you should never say anything about it – it should come across as natural. That drive to look your best and have the best things should somehow simultaneously run your life and be a secret.

“I like nice things, I do. If you think that’s shallow, why don’t you throw out all your stuff for love? Throw out your necklaces and jewels for a date at a three star Italian.” Succession

People latch onto superficiality for a variety of reasons. One is that this surface level focus allows people to ignore more pressing, deeper issues in favor of continually trying to paper them over with shiny new things – a nicer car, a more fit body, more pristine makeup, etc. This also provides an avenue through which to feel superior and to be exclusionary – people who can’t (or just don’t want to) “keep up” get framed as ‘less than’ or ‘just not good enough.’ But of course a huge reason for this is the intense level of societal pressure – when the entire world seems to be telling you that you need to look, sound, and think a certain way, it can be really difficult not to get caught up in it.

“I can be smart when it’s important. But most men don’t like it.” Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

It’s especially difficult when we’re seemingly surrounded by screens showing us other people reaping the benefits of these superficial achievements pretty much 24/7.

Women in particular get caught in a catch-22, where the world expects them to have all of the trappings of someone obsessed with the superficial – perfect hair and make up, sculpted body, clothes that perfectly walk the line between sexy and classy – while also being totally “down to earth” and “chill.” If a woman doesn’t meet society’s superficial standards, she’s mocked for being unwomanly, but if she does she gets told she’s fake (and often met with threats that she needs to be thrown in a pool on first dates to see the “real” her.) And this certainly isn’t a new phenomenon, either. Women have long been told that if they’re going to have any hope of a happy life, they have to be whatever the nearest interested and eligible man wants her to be. Securing a partner this way often didn’t lead to happiness, because the whole relationship was, well, superficial, and they had never cultivated any other part of themselves. Men, too, feel pressure to elevate the most surface level aspects of themselves and their lives, but it’s more often seen as a positive for them to do it openly. Going full force after those things – the body, the houses, the cars – is an achievement (... as long as he’s successful at it, at least.)

In our ever more connected world, we’re all constantly inundated with information about how seemingly everyone else is spending more, working out more, getting more plastic surgery, shifting to yet another new trend. But this has also caused things to diverge down two separate paths…

The New Superficial Era

As social media has taken a more intense hold over our lives, the idea of ‘superficiality’ has kind of taken off in two very different directions. The old school type is certainly still around and going strong, making people feel terrible about themselves. It seems like nearly every day some new thing pops up that we’re meant to be doing to become our best selves – a new way to make (or spend) money, a new exercise, a new food, a new body part we should be worried about not looking quite right. The focus is on showcasing your alleged wealth and beauty to as large of an audience as possible, and to do everything you can to make sure that the mask never slips – that no one ever sees that real, imperfect you hiding underneath.

“She’s strangely mesmerizing… superficial, narcissistic, self-absorbed… she’s got star quality all right!” Daria

This obviously has a whole host of negative consequences, from crash dieting to overspending to the point of going into major debt, and above all just feeling really empty. These superficial things alone can never fill the hole in one’s life – if anything, focusing on them exclusively often leads to that emotional pit becoming even larger and more difficult to fill.

The interesting second side to this superficial era, though, sees people knowingly putting on the air of superficiality almost as an armor. In our videos on the rise of “bimbocore” and the embrace of the “hyperfemme” aesthetic, we went into detail about how people of all genders, but especially young women, have begun attempting to take control of their image by leaning into seemingly shallow trends. Hyperfemininity has long been one of those ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ things for women – if you do try to look super feminine then you’re branded fake and shallow, but if you don’t then you’re mocked for not being a “real” woman. So many women have started taking what they like from traditional femininity – the cute bows, the soft colors – and working it into their lives, their way. Obviously this can very easily slide right back into regular, old school superficiality and negativity, but because the trends are borne out of personal interest and desires, it’s easier to keep the focus on what actually makes you feel good instead of worrying about what everyone else thinks. And women who were historically left out of traditional femininity, namely women of color and trans women, can find a kind of power in reclaiming these parts of the feminine that society had long excluded them from.

“Your uniform of ill-fitting J. Crew culottes, fake pearls, and 50-cent scrunchies cannot conceal the fact that you do not know who you are… We fought for our place at this table, and that has made us stronger than you’ll ever be.” Pose

Looks Can Be Deceiving…

The battle between “superficial” and “real” has led to an interesting conundrum, where sometimes the most superficial appearing people actually have a lot going on under the surface, and the people who work to present themselves as so chill and unpretentious are actually the ones with ulterior motives…

“Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun.” Gone Girl

While it has been embraced in some ways by some niches and some people, superficiality is still on the whole seen as a negative quality. And so the drive to keep up all of the shallow aspects that come with it while also pretending you’re not still reigns supreme for many. Some aspirational figures attempt to make everything look natural through “minimal” plastic surgery, ultra-realistic filters, and sometimes no-makeup makeup (that’s somehow still kind of a lot of makeup…) With all of the actual work they put in to create these looks and lives for themselves swept under the rug, they can pretend it’s all just so effortless and real – giving them more leeway to bash more openly superficial people for… doing the same thing without hiding it. (And, obviously, all of this is separate from people who just genuinely don’t care about putting on any kind of facade or working towards any of society’s more shallow markers of success.)

Cher from Clueless got a lot of flak from those around her for being an airhead who only cared about clothes and makeup.

“I’d like to see you have a little bit of direction.” ‘I have direction.” “Yeah, towards the mall.” Clueless

But fashion was the way that Cher expressed herself and connected with her friends and the world at large. As a teen girl, Cher felt like she didn’t have a lot of control in the world – she lost her mother at a young age while also having to deal with all of the confusion and anxiety that comes with being a teenager – and so focuses on looks as a way to feel grounded. In the end, she doesn’t have to give up the things she likes or her fashion knowledge to grow, she just puts it to good use to help other people and herself.

“I decided I needed a complete makeover. Except this time I’d make over my soul.” Clueless

SO… WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

The explosion of social media and its associated negative effects has also had an interesting silver lining of leading people to reevaluate their past harmful behavior. It can be incredibly easy to get so caught up in trying to be some perfect version of yourself that you begin to forget who you really are. Being more open about how societal expectations with regards to looks and lifestyles have affected us allows us to more honestly appraise our choices going forward: are we wearing this or buying this or changing this thing about ourselves because we want to or because we think we’re supposed to?

As we talked about in our recent video on New Year’s resolutions and why people are leaving the concept behind, many people are attempting to move away from the more negative aspects of the superficial era and instead focus on things that genuinely make them happy and improve their lives. This doesn’t necessarily mean giving up all worldly possessions and never looking in a mirror again – like we discussed earlier, things that have been branded as shallow in the past can be reclaimed as something empowering. There’s nothing wrong with liking the way you look or enjoying having nice things, but there’s a difference between enjoying it and letting it control your entire life. So, do you – just make sure you don’t forget about what’s underneath the surface.