Stranger Things’ Queer Themes: Chosen Family, Community and Shame

The Surprising Queer Themes of Stranger Things

Stranger Things has been immensely popular ever since its debut in 2015, and its themes have especially resonated with queer audiences. Throughout history, works of science-fiction and fantasy have had a deep and meaningful impact on their viewers that identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community. As genres that involve imagined worlds, they give both creators and viewers the freedom to take a deeper look at the issues impacting our current society and ways those issues can be resolved going forward Iconic franchises like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate Universe, and Star Trek have been at the forefront of queer representation, featuring gay, trans, and nonbinary characters well before any other genre. And today, there are more characters with queer identities in sci-fi and fantasy shows than in any other genre. Stranger Things is no exception. Though the show is set in the ‘80s, a time period in which it was much more dangerous and uncommon to live as an openly queer person, there are multiple main characters who are queer or queer-presenting.

When Noah Schnapp, the actor who plays Will Byers, came out in real life, fans took to social media to express how much his character has meant to them, and how it’s now even more meaningful to know that he’s played by a gay actor. But above all, a big reason that the show has resonated so strongly with members of the LGBTQ+ community is that there are many underlying queer elements at play within the show. Here’s our take on all the queer themes present throughout Stranger Things, and why it has become such an important series for queer audiences.

Found Family In The Show & Queer Community

The concept of chosen family is particularly important to queer communities since throughout history queer people have often found themselves rejected by their biological families. So instead, they seek to build their own found families with other accepting, like-minded individuals. Even those that don’t face outright rejection still find power in finding people like themselves, who can understand their specific experiences. We see examples of found families all across science fiction, many of them existing at the margins of society in one way or another, coming together despite their differences to fight against an external force of evil.

The chosen families formed among the characters in Stranger Things make up the show’s emotional center. The series makes this clear from the jump - with our four main characters, who are all nerdy and victims of bullying. In the face of this adversity, they’ve created their own community amongst themselves, where they can play Dungeons and Dragons, talk about comics, and work on their science projects. We also see them fold new characters into their group, who are outsiders in their own ways, and look out for these newer members the way they’ve always looked after each other. As with queer-found families, they find power in each other, and in finding people who fully see them and accept them for who they are.

Members of the LGBTQ+ community also often form bonds around shared hardship, and we see this happen between many characters in the show. It’s especially present in the relationship that forms between Nancy and Jonathan when they team up to find Nancy’s missing best friend and Jonathan’s missing brother. Despite the fact that they’ve never spoken much previously (and on the surface seem so different) they bond over this shared experience and in the process find common ground they didn’t realize they had.

The relationship between Steve and the younger characters is also quite notable in the way it portrays the type of chosen families that span generations. Steve and Dustin’s relationship in particular is a highlight of the series, with each being able to impart wisdom to the other despite their differing ages, as is the case with many intergenerational friendships in the queer community. One of the most touching and clear examples of found family in the show is the relationship between Eleven and Hopper. Often when queer people are cut off from their biological parents, they replace that lost family with figures who can provide them the unconditional love and support that their biological families weren’t willing to provide. We see this occur between Hopper, who has recently lost his daughter, and Eleven, who has no real family. They are able to fill these voids created by the loss of their families of origin and find a new family in one another, with each assuming the role the other has lost.

Shame And Identity

Another queer theme that runs a consistent thread through Stranger Things is the experience of shame. Because members of the LGBTQ+ community have historically been objected to violence, ridicule, negligence, and discrimination - many have been made to feel some level of shame around their identities. Shame is a driving force behind many of the character’s thoughts and actions in the show. Will has shame explicitly around his sexuality, as well as other aspects of his that parallel his queerness, such as the way he feels different from his friends.

Stranger Things even manages to lend empathy to one of the series’ major villains, Vecna - who is deeply affected by his own shame. While Vecna’s sexuality isn’t explicitly stated, the ways in which he was shamed in his upbringing are very much tied to the ways he acted outside expected gender norms, by being a “quiet, sensitive kid”.

While queer people are often shamed by the dominant culture, they can discover an antidote to this by finding themselves, developing their own senses of identity, and finding power in that identity. And identity is a major theme in Stranger Things, symbolized especially by the characters’ journeys to and from the Upside Down. So many characters in Stranger Things get lost in the Upside Down, and then as a result must find themselves. As much shame as Will feels upon his return from the Upside Down, he’s able to find strength in his identity and feel less alienation once he finds acceptance from his loved ones, such as his best friend Mike apologizing to him for the way he’s treated him, and re-affirming their friendship, and, in one of the series’ most touching moments to date, his brother telling him that he’ll always love him no matter what.

Eleven is also able to find strength in her identity by connecting with her roots, even if they are different from the way she was raised, just as LGBTQ+ people often find strength in their identity by connecting with queer culture and history. Learning about her background gives her a newfound understanding of the trauma she went through during her childhood at Hawkins Lab, and how she can use her powers for good, realizing that her pain has also given her strength and resilience. And, in contrast to Eleven and Will, we see how Vecna has not been able to move past his sense of childhood shame, form a more empowering identity, or find community. In many ways, he is still stuck in the Upside Down, and we see how this pain has overtaken him, to the point where he’s taken all of the pain and alienation he’s always felt, and used it to hurt the people around him.

Creating Systems Of Care

Throughout history, members of the LGBTQ+ community have had to form their own communities of protection, as they have so often been failed by the systems that are supposed to keep them safe – from the Stonewall riots of 1969, where queer people banded together to protect themselves against the NYPD, to today, where queer activist groups are leading the charge on working to stop or overturn anti-trans bills all over the country.

Stranger Things takes place at the height of the AIDS epidemic, a time in history where the US government essentially turned its back on queer communities. The ways in which the characters create systems of mutual aid, and provide healthcare, emotional support and resources for one another mirrors the systems of comradery that the real communities established during that time. The systems of power in Hawkins are constantly failing the Stranger Things characters, whether it be the police, the government, or the press. We even see how the systems of power are weaponized to mislead the other townspeople of Hawkins into blaming our main characters for the things going wrong, rather than attempting to find the true villain- just as the US government did with the queer community during the AIDS crisis.

As a result, the characters in Stranger Things have an inherent mistrust of authority figures, but they always support each other - even when they’re thrown into different groups. Community care is at the center of the show, as its characters are constantly providing each other with the support that isn’t provided to them by the people in power. Everything important accomplished in each season, such as finding Will, defeating the Mind Flayer, and fighting Vecna, is made possible by the main characters working as a collective. They all come together and lend their specific skill sets to figuring out what’s happened to their towns and the people they love, and then join forces to defeat the creatures responsible. They never look to the police or government, as they know they can’t be trusted, and often only serve as roadblocks to what needs to be done - just as the queer community has experienced throughout history.

Conclusion

Stranger Things has engaging themes that are relatable to everyone that watches in one way or another, but these specific elements have made it a special source of comfort and connection for the queer community. The idea that a group of misfits can rise up and defeat the villain that’s oppressing them, through a combination of chosen families, self-discovery, and mutual aid, is one that gives hope and strength to those who so often feel outcast in our own society.

SOURCES

Branstetter, Gillian. “How the ACLU Tracks Anti-LGBTQ Bills, and How We’re Fighting Back: News & Commentary.” American Civil Liberties Union, 23 Jan. 2023, https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbtq-rights/how-the-aclu-tracks-anti-lgbtq-bills.

History.com Editors. “Stonewall Riots.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 31 May 2017, https://www.history.com/topics/gay-rights/the-stonewall-riots.

Iftikhar, Asyia. “Stranger Things’ Noah Schnapp Showered with Love after Coming out as Gay.” PinkNews, 6 Jan. 2023, https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/01/06/stranger-things-noah-schnapp-gay-coming-out-cast/.

Fitzsimons, Tim. “LGBTQ History Month: The Early Days of America’s AIDS Crisis.” NBCNews.Com, NBCUniversal News Group, 15 Oct. 2018, www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/lgbtq-history-month-early-days-america-s-aids-crisis-n919701. Accessed 10 July 2023.

Lynd, Helen Merrell. On Shame and the Search for Identity. Routledge, 2007.

Moore, Patrick. Beyond Shame: Reclaiming the Abandoned History of Radical Gay Sexuality. Beacon, 2005.

Sostre, Safire R. “7 Black LGBT+ Mutual Aid Groups to Support This Pride Month.” Essence, Essence, 15 June 2022, https://www.essence.com/news/black-lgbt-mutual-aid/.

Valerie Anne, The TV Team. “The 100 Best Lesbian, Bisexual and Queer Sci-Fi and Fantasy TV Shows of All Time.” Autostraddle, 10 Jan. 2023, https://www.autostraddle.com/the-100-best-lesbian-bisexual-and-queer-sci-fi-and-fantasy-shows-of-all-time/.