The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper isn’t just a Smart Guy – he’s pretty much the smartest guy, at least as far as he’s concerned…

“Don’t you think if I was wrong I’d know it?”

While he is incredibly book smart, there are other parts of life that he definitely doesn’t get. His oversized ego and belief that his opinion is the only one that matters can make him pretty tiring to be around – but he also has a deeper, more caring side that he’s able to let out with the help of his friends. Sheldon’s story is the perfect example of why emotional intelligence is an important part of a happy life – even if you think your book smarts are more than enough.

“I always listen to myself. It’s one of the great joys of my life.”

Let’s take a deeper look at Sheldon’s story and how he grew from a self-centered smart guy that scares away everyone in his life into… a self-centered smart guy whose life is filled with deep connections.

“This honor doesn’t just belong to me. I wouldn’t be up here if it weren’t for some very important people in my life.”

SHELDON THE BRAINIAC

Sheldon Cooper isn’t just your regular ‘Smart Guy’ – he was a literal child prodigy and started college at only 11 years old. He taught as a visiting professor at the Heidelberg Institute in Germany at only 15 and got his first Ph.D. at only 16. Being aware of and secure in his great capacity for absorbing knowledge and thinking constructively about physics from such an early age gave Sheldon a supreme level of confidence in his own smarts. He not only never questions himself, he thinks he’s always the most correct – and possibly one of the smartest people to ever live. His superiority complex developed early, with him coming to the conclusion that he was clearly better than his siblings because they weren’t as smart as he was.

“I’m exceedingly smart. I graduated college at 14; while my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D.”

But his nerdy nature also led to some problems – his father wanted him to be into more stereotypically male things like football instead of Star Trek and comic books. And kids at school often bullied him – both because of his nerd status and his better-than-everyone attitude. Sheldon never really had much of a strong interest in human connection – his focus was always on science and discovery. On Young Sheldon, the Big Bang Theory prequel focused on his childhood, we see that Sheldon did on occasion learn important life lessons and seem to grow as a person. But the Sheldon we meet in the first season of the Big Bang Theory seems to have possibly regressed a bit in that regard.

This actually isn’t a total surprise – Sheldon went through a lot in the years between the era of Young Sheldon and the point we’re introduced to him in the first episode of the Big Bang Theory. He continued on focusing solely on his academic career, and so never got to be a “normal” kid or teen – he essentially jumped straight from smart baby to tiny adult. Because he had such immense success in this one specific area of life, he never really felt the need to branch out or work on other facets of himself. So Sheldon’s arrested development when it comes to emotional intelligence actually makes a lot of sense.

“You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want.”

Because he’s always been so knowledgeable about his areas of interest, he thinks he’s right about everything. This can lead to him being quite stubborn, demanding and even rude pretty regularly. He wants to be in control because as far as he’s concerned, he is the only person that can make the right decisions… even though that often isn’t the case. He sees himself as more logical than everyone else, even though he has his own fair share of illogical thought patterns (like his refusal to sit anywhere on the couch other than his spot.) Though, of course, he always feels like he has a logical explanation for everything.

“The fact is it wouldn’t kill us to meet some new people.” “For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens. And I’m not insane, my mother had me tested.”

Sheldon also thinks he should always win in every situation, even in things that should be fairly split, like his roommate agreement with Leonard (which Sheldon somehow manages to always tip in his favor.) The show itself even makes fun of this trait when the friends find the One Ring prop from The Lord of the Rings and Sheldon immediately decides that he must have it and spends the rest of the episode on a journey to steal it away from the others. Because he never really had to learn how to get along with others, he can be quite difficult to be around. He scared away all of his roommates before Leonard and puts people down all the time, even his friends. [“Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.” ““Not knowing is part of the fun.” Was that the motto of your community college?” 04x18 00:04:12 ] But his attitude provides challenges for him, too. He doesn’t understand many social interactions and often doesn’t pick up on jokes, and just generally has a pretty hard time with the human nature part of being a human.

Many fans noted during the show’s run that all of Sheldon’s traits – from his savant status, to his difficulty understanding social interactions, to his sensory issues and more – all seem to point to him possibly being on the Autism spectrum. And while this was apparently never intended by the show’s creators, and they’ve always stayed away from explicitly labeling him, they didn’t have a problem with fans connecting with the character in that way. In a conversation with NPR, Jim Parsons noted, “I think [the writers] really celebrate those [traits].. I think it’s such an original reaction to [see] the world through a filter like that – to look at the world through those eyes.” And Mayim Bailik, who plays Sheldon’s eventual wife Amy, has said that though Sheldon was never explicitly labeled as being on the spectrum, the show’s main intent was to show a positive representation of people who share his traits.

And it’s really this that makes Sheldon such a special character. The show doesn’t force him to change who he is, but importantly does allow him to grow while still being true to himself and not having to iron out his quirks. And while Sheldon might have already known everything about physics, he had a lot to learn about being a friend.

GROWTH THROUGH FRIENDSHIP

Sheldon’s singular focus on himself and his own interests can make it hard for him to connect with others.

“I did a bad thing.” “Does it affect me?” “No.” “Then suffer in silence.”

And even his friends can have a hard time handling his attitude – as much as they love him, it can be grating to constantly get talked down to. He puts down Penny for not being book smart, bullies Howard for “only” being an engineer and not having a Ph.D, and even disrespects Amy’s accomplishments for not being ‘as important’ as his.

But instead of just shunning him for being annoying, his friends try to get through to him and allow him to see their side of things. By opening himself up to learning new things in the realm of social interactions, Sheldon gets the opportunity to expand his world, from dating to figuring out sarcasm.

While Sheldon might not always be the most community-focused person, he does have moments where his ability to care for others shines through. When he was a kid, he attempted to build a nuclear reactor to give his entire city electricity for free (and only failed because he was stopped by the government.) And in adulthood, he begins to mature emotionally by developing deeper relationships with his friends. For as much as he makes fun of Penny, the pair clearly have a connection from early on. They might not totally get everything about one another, but they’re always there for each other in their own way.

“Why are you crying?” “Because I’m stupid.” “That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and it makes me sad.”

In the same way that Penny provides the audience a more relatable connection into this world of super smart people, she also supplies a similar kind of connection for Sheldon, giving him insight into how “average” people think. And even if she does sometimes find him annoying, she never makes him feel bad for being who is or feeling how he feels.

“It’s easier around people I’m comfortable with.” “Oh, sweetie, I’m comfortable around you, too.” “Of course you are. I’m warm and soothing. I’m like a human bowl of tomato soup.”

He’s also willing to help her out in big ways – letting her borrow money and not being concerned about getting it back, and even overcoming his fear of driving to take her to the hospital when she dislocated her shoulder (and then singing her to sleep!)

Another major relationship that helps Sheldon grow is of course the one with his friend, girlfriend, and eventual wife Amy. Through their relationship he learns the value of both emotional and physical intimacy. Initially he’s not particularly interested in, or even seemingly very aware of the latter… But when he learns how important it is to Amy, he goes for it and they figure out a situation that works for both of them. Amy also importantly is able to push back on Sheldon’s more intense, self-centered tendencies in a way that actually gets through to him. For example, when Sheldon becomes totally unbearable when he’s ill, everyone in his life attempts to avoid him – Amy leaves for a conference and his friends all attempt to take a trip to Las Vegas without him. At first he feels like he’s the victim, but Amy kindly but honestly gets him to understand that he was really the one being mean to everyone else. Instead of shutting down or continuing to complain, he accepts that she’s right and goes on a full blown Apology Tour, with commemorative shirts and everything.

While he might initially think he doesn’t need anyone but himself, as the show goes on Sheldon does come to appreciate his friends and their place in his life (even if he isn’t always the best at showing it.) And in return, they continue to help him flourish. He had always been pretty anti-birthday due to a bad experience as a child where his sister tricked him into waiting all day for Batman to show up. His friends, wanting to help him move past his childhood trauma, decide to throw him an awesome birthday party so that he can see how loved he truly is. Even when he’s overcome with anxiety and has to flee the party, Penny is there for him and reminds him that everyone likes him for who he is

“Sweetie, you are weird. Everyone knows you’re weird, but they’re all still here because they care about you so much.”

And with Amy, he not only gets the love of his life, but the achievement of his life as well when they win the Nobel Prize for their work. In his acceptance speech, we see how much Sheldon has really grown, and importantly so does he. He finally fully recognizes how important everyone in his life is to him, and how they’ve helped him become the person he is.

“I have been encouraged, sustained, inspired and tolerated not only by my wife, but by the greatest group of friends anyone ever had.”

CONCLUSION

Sheldon was always a smart person, but it’s his friends that helped him grow to become a caring person. And it’s through that shift in mindset that he’s not only able to better connect with others, but also create a happy, fulfilling life for himself. Sheldon’s story is the perfect illustration of how life can become so much richer by combining our own special skills with those of others around us. Even when you think you’re perfect, your life can still be improved by fostering connections with people that care about you.

“There’s no denying that I have feelings for you that can’t be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.”