Millennials (aka people born between 1981 and 1996) seem to be aging at a slower rate than previous generations… but no one agrees on why. Some say it’s because they’re just immature, dodging responsibilities and spending too much time on nostalgia. Others blame the rise of cosmetic procedures and the increased focus on looks in our social media focused world combined with the lack of access to the old school markers of “adulthood.” So let’s take a deeper look at this perceived collective youthfulness of millennials, and how cultural shifts have changed our image of adulthood.
Aging Differently (The Fountain of Youth)
If you look at young adults from past decades, you’ll notice quite a difference in how they look compared to today. Tiktok comment sections are filled with young people being surprised that 32 year olds don’t look like Baba Yaga. Sometimes even celebrities take people by surprise – like when Alexa Demie, who shot to fame playing high schooler Maddy Perez on Euphoria, shocked fans when they realized that she wasn’t a gen-zer like her costars but very much a millennial, leading to increasingly outlandish (and hilarious) memes about how old she secretly is. But this surprise at millennials still being, well, pretty young seems rather universal.
Of course, there are several factors in play, including genetics and environmental conditions. But one of the most cited reasons is that we’re letting go of bad habits of the past. Millennials grew up learning a lot more about the serious health risks of smoking and excessive drinking, both of which can make you look older. Chain-smoking indoors with a glass of whiskey hasn’t been the norm for quite some time. These were once nearly universal activities among adults, but have both been on a rapid decline in recent decades. According to the American Lung Association, “cigarette smoking rates have fallen 68 percent among adults, from 42.6 percent in 1965 to 13.7 percent in 2018.” Tanning was also a major self-care habit for decades – having crispy, glowing skin was seen as a sign of good health. But now that we’re more educated on the harmful effects of UV exposure, we know the importance of using sunscreen and limiting our time out in the sun to prevent skin damage. Being so well-informed about beauty and wellness in general keeps us in the know (not to mention the countless ads promoting new products to try…)
In all of these changes there’s also the long-held societal expectation that women in particular remain youthful forever (if they don’t want to be cast out and forgotten by the world, at least.) This has long been an issue for all women, and while it is thankfully changing, it hasn’t yet fully gone away – and so there is a drive on women’s part to hold on to youthful looks because of this societal pressure telling us that our looks matter more than anything. And this is doubly true for women in the entertainment industry, where many women are made to feel that their looks are the only thing that determine their value.
Millennials grew up during the evolution of the internet, making them “digital natives.” In the age of social media, we’re constantly looking at ourselves and being judged by strangers behind a screen. We see beautiful people on every type of screen, showing us what the world wants to see. And with previously unattainable cosmetic procedures becoming increasingly more accessible to the everyday person, it’s hard not to be influenced and feel the need to change ourselves to fit the mold. And now that we’re just one click away from keeping up with current beauty trends, it’s easier than ever to get pulled in.
There’s also a psychological aspect that influences how we look on the outside. Until recently, discussing mental health wasn’t something people did so freely. More professionals talk about the mental and physical impact that stress has on the body. This generation is the first to prioritize self-care beyond relaxing vacations and spa days (partially because we can’t always afford those kinds of self-care.) These days cognitive behavioral therapy isn’t taboo, and neither is taking medication. We’re encouraged to express our emotions instead of bottling them up, something past generations didn’t feel comfortable doing. We focus on “protecting our energy,” putting our mental wellbeing first and getting rid of things in our lives that bring us down.
Changing Perceptions of Adulthood
Growing up, millennials had very different ideas of what adulthood would look like — having a lucrative career (not just ‘a job’), getting married, having children, owning a house and a car. And because they aren’t doing those things by the same age as previous generations – either because they don’t want to or because those things have been placed out of reach – they don’t always feel like adults, and others don’t see them as adults.
“You just don’t feel like an adult yet. I’m sure your life is fun, but it’s really just a series of wild shenanigans.” Broad City
In our recent video on the changing experience of being in your 30s on screen, we touched on some of the ways these shifts have been playing out on screen, and millennials in particular have been the drivers of this evolution.
There are countless shows and movies about aimless millennials, usually created by millennials, that center on one or more young adults struggling to find themselves. They’re in a quarter-life crisis, working dead-end jobs – often more than one at a time – and still not making enough money to feel stable. Since they can’t afford to pay for a place of their own, they live with their parents longer than society deems “normal”, or have to rent places with roommates who are sometimes complete strangers.
These traditional markers of adulthood— being self-sufficient, financially independent, and living alone — are largely centered on wealth. And since this generation came of age during an economic crisis – several successive economic crises, really – being an adult in that mold is just pretty much unattainable for most millennials, leaving them feeling infantilized. Many millennials went to college, racking up tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt, only to enter an unstable workforce. Post-grads struggle to find and keep steady jobs – ideally in the field they actually studied – that weren’t underpaid or completely soul-crushing.
“It’s just like, everybody can tell me what I can’t do but nobody can tell me what I can do.” Search Party
Add on a competitive job market that offers fewer benefits than in the past and rising housing costs, and it’s impossible to be this ideal adult.
So, is it any surprise that they put these major live events on hold instead of hitting arbitrary deadlines? TikToker Chris Bautista, who went viral for his explanation on young-looking millennials, told Newsweek: “Everything that was expected of us to be done in our 20s, we started doing in our 30s. We not only pushed our lives back a bit, but we’ve pushed the aging back as well.” So, despite the pressure of the societal ticking clock, millennials created and embraced a new standard on aging. Because unlike Gen Z, we don’t think 30 is ancient.
“29 is the new 16.” “You’re 32.” I Want You Back
The Myth of the Millennial
With millennials going against societal norms and outdated notions of what an adult should look like, older generations (especially Baby Boomers) often still seem to think millennials are kids even as they’re now pushing 40. Even though this generation is more educated than Gen X and Boomers (Pew Research Center), they’re still not taken seriously, especially when it comes to working. Media narratives, often watched and reported by significantly older people, perpetuate this millennial stereotype as entitled, selfish, lazy, and “destroying” industries – from chain restaurants to avocados to the entire idea of ‘working’ itself.
“You’re not listening to me. Working feels bad and I don’t ever want to work one more day in my entire life. Oh my god it feels so good to say that!” Search Party
Millennials are often questioning themselves and their life decisions, waiting longer to start families, and prioritizing their wellbeing as much as possible – and that has all been given a negative spin as if it denotes a major level of self-absorption instead of introspection.
When it comes to Gen Z, they’ve also had a lot to say about millennials when it comes to clothing style, slang, and well, everything. But now they’ve reached the point where their looks have also come under scrutiny. The social media-focused, always ‘on’ world that Gen Z was raised in has caused them to fear aging to a huge degree – which is both why they think that everyone turns to dust the second they hit 30 and why they’re so surprised to see anyone still living their life happily after that dreaded milestone. But, of course, Gen Z have also just been, well, young themselves – and now that the oldest members of the cohort have grown up and had time to really experience adulthood themselves, they’re starting to realize that life doesn’t end at 30 (and that a lot of that cringe “adulting” millennials have been complaining about actually does suck.)
“The economy stinks, bees are dying, movies are pretty much all sequels now.” New Girl
But even with the occasional jabs about hair parts and outdated slang, the relationship between millennials and gen z is thankfully much less adversarial than things have been between previous generations. And part of that is thanks to the fact that, even with all of the problems it’s caused, social media has allowed us to see that we’re not actually so terribly different after all.
Conclusion
Whether or not you think millennials look younger, or even act younger, there’s really no such thing as “normal aging.” It more or less comes down to how the current culture perceives age based on looks and behavior and what we think a quote-unquote “real” adult should look like. Millennials have redefined adulthood and what it means to age, both due to the struggles they’ve faced and the issues that they’ve chosen to leave in the past. Looks aren’t everything – there are obviously many, many actual changes in the world we all need to work on – but… they are a nice bonus!