Modern Family’s Gloria Pritchett was initially discounted by pretty much everyone else on the show. They were so blinded by her more obvious qualities and the fact that they assumed she was a gold digger, that they couldn’t even see the amazing person inside that beautiful package. But it quickly became clear that she was the one with the best outlook on life. And not only did she use her smarts to create a good life for herself and her son, she also helped the others on the show grow and become better, happier people themselves.
“Are people going to like me? Can I handle the challenge? You can ask these questions forever. Or, you can just take the first step.”
So let’s take a deeper look at how, in the end, Gloria was right about pretty much everything.
Be emotional
Women are often told that we’re just too emotional – that we need to bottle up our feelings and be more stoic and “level headed” if we want to get ahead in life. Gloria doesn’t buy this at all. She is always ready and willing to speak her mind, loudly and emotionally.
“What are you looking for?” “Nothing! I am making a lot of noise because I’m angry!”
Telling women to stop “being emotional” is a way that society tries to keep women quiet and thus avoid having to deal with the consequences of the way it treats us. If women do let their emotions out and speak up, then someone might actually be held to account and possibly even have to change. And so it’s preferred that women are kept docile, just holding all of their anger in and telling themselves that this is just the way things are and have to be.
Gloria is so free with her emotions because she knows that emotions are the core of life – being emotional isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of being alive. Keeping everything bottled up is unhealthy, and it doesn’t even stop conflict, it just pushes it off until it’s an even bigger issue that you’re even angrier about because you’ve been holding it in.
“You can’t sit on your feelings! You will explode! I have, like, 10 little explosions every day, so I don’t have the big one.”
And so Gloria has decided to take a different path, where she allows herself to express her feelings freely, regardless of how it might come across to other people. This means her negative emotions don’t build up, but it also means people don’t mess with her because they know if they do there will be consequences.
Gloria’s connection to her emotions isn’t just good for her, though – she helps everyone else in her life connect with their emotions in a healthier way, too. Her husband Jay was notoriously closed off to everyone around him, and refused to see it as a problem. It meant his children felt distant and detached from him, but they never knew how to really express that to him – especially when any attempt to would be met with either being brushed off or yelled at. But Gloria forces him to really sit down and take stock of how his behavior has affected his children and himself, and she provides a new opening for them all to have a productive conversation about it.
“Gloria is right. Dad, you being so emotionally closed off makes it very difficult for your children to show affection.”
Don’t fall into the ‘women are competition’ trap
Because of her beauty, Gloria often finds that women who are stuck in old, toxic thought patterns see her as competition. They assume she must be out to steal their husbands, or at the very least, his attention. But, while Gloria certainly isn’t afraid of a little competition, for her it’s never based on some idea of it being “her vs every other woman.” Society loves to peddle the idea that men are the singular thing women should be interested in and mold their entire lives around securing, and so that we should all always see each other as competitors in the dating arena.
“You think I don’t know what they’re thinking? “Ah, here comes the hot one with the big boobies that is gonna steal my husband.”
But Gloria just doesn’t see things that way. She’s happy in her marriage and doesn’t care who else thinks she’s hot. And it makes her sad to come to terms with the fact that so many women automatically don’t like her because in their minds she represents a ‘threat’.
Because Gloria is often on the receiving end of this, she knows how detrimental it is both to building healthy relationships and to one’s own sense of self. She cherishes her friendships, and even though they initially do not get along, eventually becomes quite close with Claire. In the beginning, Claire, too, sees Gloria as competition – not for love, but for her father’s attention. But she comes to realize that that isn’t the way she should see Gloria, and that she’s a wonderful addition to her life (even if she might still feel a little threatened by her at times…)
“Your thunder is your thunder, and my thunder is my thunder.” “I know. It’s just that God gave you so much thunder.”
Be secure in who you are
Everyone she meets has ideas about what Gloria is or who she should be like just because of how she looks. They assume she’s an airhead bimbo husband stealer gold digger, and they’re none too shy about letting her know it. Because her looks are such a point of interest, she has a hard time getting others to see past that – but she always knows that she’s more than just how she looks on the inside; she doesn’t let those other people’s judgment color her view of herself. At the end of the day, she knows that her drive and cleverness are really what get her through life. She’s not afraid to stand up for herself and what she wants because she knows her worth. And she won’t give up things she enjoys just because other people might have a problem with it or think she’s not good enough.
One of Gloria’s biggest points of pride is holding onto her heritage. Even though everyone around her mocks her culture and her accent and when she messes up English idioms, she’s very proud to be a strong Colombian woman. The constant jokes about it do get to her, but it doesn’t push her to try to erase that part of herself – instead she stands up for herself and makes it clear that they are the problem, not her and her accent.
“Manny told me that you want me to give up my heritage so that you don’t have to wait in line at the airport!” The world may try to change Gloria, and mold her into a softer, more docile person, but she never gives in because she’s secure in who she is.
Lead with love
Because of her connection to her emotions, and her lack of fear of being openly emotional, Gloria is always able to give love freely to those around her. She doesn’t live her life afraid that she’s going to get hurt by being open and letting other people in – that doesn’t mean that it won’t happen, but she knows that in the end it’s always worth taking the risk.
“Family is family. Whether it’s the one you start out with, the one you end up with, or the family that you gain along the way.”
Opening yourself up to people who then treat you poorly can cause you to want to harden yourself to the world and keep people at a distance so that you don’t have to worry about getting hurt again. But Gloria realized that that wasn’t the way she wanted to live her life. Deep down she was always a deeply loving person, and so to live her best life she had to continue fostering that part of herself. And in the end, she was right – being open to love not only allowed her to build a great relationship with Jay, but to also form loving relationships with the entire rest of the family, too.
She and her love are able to break down the walls that the others in the family have built up – because she’s so open and trusting, they realize that they can be that way, too.
“You are going to tell me what is wrong, and I’m gonna give you the right answer, because I have all of them.”
And, since she has such a strong personality, she’s not afraid to give them a little push in the right direction when they need it.
Keep fighting for the life you want
Gloria wasn’t just handed a wonderful life on a silver platter, she doesn’t come from money and she didn’t have a lot of opportunities growing up. She had to work hard for years to begin building the life she desired. But she was never willing to settle for less because she knew that she and Manny deserved that life of security and happiness, and she wasn’t going to give up until she secured it. And for Gloria, it’s not just about financial security – though Jay’s wealth certainly does help her get free from the many difficulties she had to deal with when she was struggling with money. What she really wanted was emotional security, and that’s the most important thing he provides for her. She feels safe in their relationship because she knows that he really loves and cares for her and Manny, no matter how grumpy he may be on the outside sometimes.
”You’re so much more than how you look… These have been the best ten years of my life. I’m in it for every pound, every wrinkle, every gray hair.”
And, in a flip of what we usually see on screen, it’s Jay that changes for her. He grows as a person and becomes more in touch with his emotions and able to express them in a healthy way. And as he finally comes to realize how important her heritage is to her, he takes steps to begin including it in his own life so that he can share in this thing that means so much to her. [ “Who are you calling old man?” “I’m not mad at you I—” “I’m learning Spanish for you.” 11x17 00:38:48]
Conclusion
Gloria is the perfect illustration of how important it is to believe in yourself and never let the world make you feel small or like you need to change yourself to fit in or be happy. She’s secure in who she is and knows that any part of the world that makes her feel less than is the thing that needs to be changed – with force, if necessary. Gloria’s greatest gift is being able to find those connections and build relationships with her friends and family, and being unafraid to fight through the hard parts of relationships to get to the happier, more loving side. She highlights the importance of standing up for yourself and using your strong sense of self to help those around you learn to love themselves, too. [“I don’t care, I’m not your mother.” “I know, you’re my grandmother.” “Step-grandmother. Anyway, today, think of me as a girlfriend! Two girls out for an afternoon of fun!” 01x03 00:09:34]