Gilmore Girls is a show filled with beloved characters – but while some were given the opportunity to grow and flourish, others kind of got the short end of the stick… Stars Hollow’s resident rocker rebel Lane Kim ended up with one of the most disappointing outcomes – while she began the show with a buzzing love for music and lust for personal freedom, as the show went on and her character was pushed further to the side, so much of what made her Lane was sanded away. In recent years, as more people have begun re-watching show on streaming, a wider conversation has opened up about Lane’s bummer of an ending and how she deserved so much better – or at least the chance to have tried to live the life she dreamed of. So let’s dive in and unpack what made Lane so great, why her story went off the rails, and why her ending feels so hollow (but maybe there is one positive aspect…)
Lane’s Beginnings
Lane Kim, the daughter of very strict religious, Korean parents, is Rory Gilmore’s best friend. She loves music – but not the hymnals her mother forces her to play, rock and roll. Her mother is particularly overbearing, with very strict ideas about how Lane should and should not behave. This leads to Lane essentially leading a double life – pretending to be the perfect religious daughter at home, while exploring her more alternative side in secret. Her relationship with her mother isn’t necessarily adversarial like with many other rebellious teens on TV; she still loves her mother very much, she just doesn’t want to feel so suffocated by her expectations. She doesn’t want to keep everything she actually cares about a secret, but she knows that her mother would never approve.
“I started listening to rock music at 7 years old, I put makeup on at school, I managed to join a band without anyone knowing.”
And in the same way Lane doesn’t feel animosity towards her mother, we can clearly see that – as intense as she may be – Mrs. Kim is clearly acting out of her belief for what she thinks will be best for Lane. Her life and experiences as an immigrant are very different from, for example, Lorelai’s upbringing, and so she has quite different ideas about what it takes to create a safe and secure life (which is her real hope for her daughter.) Lane certainly feels this underlying love, but that doesn’t mean wants to stay trapped in her mother’s cage forever. Lane’s mix of kindness and rebellion is what endeared her to so many viewers.
Lane and Rory met in kindergarten and have been close ever since. Rory was always allowed a lot of freedom in her life to do what she wanted, to try things and fail (and fail again,) never really having to worry about getting into too much trouble. Lane provided an interesting contrast to Rory, as because she was so sheltered, even Rory’s relatively tame life in the early seasons felt like an amazing new world for her. Rory also helps Lane in her efforts to have some kind of fun life, free from the watchful eye of her mother, even smuggling her records on occasion. Having been friends with each other for so long, they understand each other on a deeper level. Lane helps provide a different perspective to Rory when she encounters problems and setbacks, and Rory in turn helps build up Lane’s self-confidence. And they’re always there for one another. That doesn’t mean they never have problems – but because they really care about each other, they’re always able to work things out. Lane living vicariously through Rory is particularly true in the realm of boys. While Rory has lots of suitors, Lane has to hide even the idea of liking boys from her mother. But as the show went on, Lane was able to capture more freedom for herself, for a while at least…
After a new music shop opened up in town, Lane came to the realization that she didn’t just want to listen to music, she wanted to make it. She began sneaking away in evenings to practice her drumming in the closed shop, and eventually joined a band called Hep Alien. She began really creating a new, solid identity for herself separate from the one she had so long felt stuck with, and this brought her more happiness and confidence – and more willingness to rebel further. She fell for fellow band member Dave, who shared her deep, nerdy love of music and, importantly, wasn’t scared off by her intense family. In fact, he’s willing to continue showing up and fighting to be with Lane and prove that he will be good for her, no matter how much her mother might disagree since he’s not Korean. But Mrs. Kim can see that he is a good guy, and that he makes Lane happy and so allows them a little leeway to be together. Being with Dave opened Lane’s eyes to what a caring relationship with someone you actually enjoy being around could be like, and filled her with hope for the future. But, unfortunately, that happiness didn’t last forever. Adam Brody, who played Dave, was cast as Seth Cohen in The O.C., and when that show was picked up for its first season he had to leave Gilmore Girls behind, which meant Dave had to say goodbye to Lane. He left for college in California (a nod to Brody’s new gig,) and while they tried to make a long-distance relationship work, in the end things fizzled out.
Changes
Lane and Rory remained close even as Rory was off at Chilton, but their lives diverged further when it came time for college. While Rory was off to Yale, Lane was stuck going to a religious college to please her mother. While she continued to hold onto parts of her life that felt like her own, like her band, that might allow her to still have the possibility of the future she had always dreamed of, she could already in some ways feel that brighter future slipping away. She began trying to push back even harder against the confines of her life. Eventually this led to her double life crashing down when she snuck away to a gig in New York City, only to have to call Lorelai for help. When Mrs Kim realized she was gone, she dug through her room and found all of her secrets – every part of herself that Lane had tried to hide laid bare – and in the end kicked Lane out.
This was, of course, a traumatic experience for Lane, who was now out on her own for the first time in her life – but it also became an opportunity for growth. After living with Rory in her dorm for a while, she was finally able to rent her very own apartment with two of her bandmates, giving her a real taste of the independence she had always longed for. And though they still did not see eye to eye, the love between her and her mother was still there, buried underneath all of the anger. Eventually, with their new distance and perspective, they were able to find common ground and re-enter each other’s lives in a healthier way. Living in the apartment is also when she realizes that she had feelings for her bandmate Zack. He’s not a bad guy, but he feels like such a step down from Dave. They of course share the same general interest in music and the band, but there isn’t that same spark of understanding and care – it definitely feels more like the writers just decided that Lane had to date someone in her band, and now that Dave was gone it was on to the next one, instead of really trying to put her with someone that fit her. And that, on its own, wouldn’t have necessarily been a bad thing – briefly dating someone you end up realizing you don’t actually connect with all that much isn’t unheard of by any means. But Lane never gets the chance to keep exploring her options. And this is the pattern Lane’s life will continue to follow…
It had been so great to watch Lane grow and evolve and rebel and carve out a real life for herself, and so watching her be forced to essentially backslide into giving up everything she had fought for was a real let down. Not only did she get hitched at only 21, she then immediately got pregnant – literally upon her first time ever having sex, on her honeymoon. Her band had been planning a big tour, but after falling pregnant that was out the window – well, for her at least; Zack still got to keep living his dream. Becoming a wife and mother certainly isn’t, on its own, a problem or a let down. But the fact that it was just used to take all of the wind out of the sails of Lane’s actual big shot at living her dream was such a bummer. Having this engaging, rebellious character sanded down to ‘woman who gives up all of her dreams before she even really had a chance to start living her own life’ was not the future anyone was expecting for Lane, not even Lane herself.
“For years, I was this repressed kid, and then there was the briefest of windows. And then… slam. All of a sudden, I’m this overburdened mother.”
A Sad Ending…
Lane and much of her story was loosely based on real-life co-producer and friend of Amy Sherman-Palladino Helen Pai – including Dave, who was based on Helen’s real life husband (and ‘Hep Alien’ is even an anagram of her name.) But while in real life Helen got to continue building the life she wanted, unfortunately Lane wasn’t so lucky.
“Yesterday we’re sitting here playing jacks and hoping to grow boobs, and now look at us! I have a husband and two babies, and you’re going off and conquer the world.”
Aleena Malik wrote in her piece about Lane for Brit+Co, “As an Asian-American, Lane’s experiences mirrored many of my own, and, at a time when there was such little Asian representation, this was extremely impactful. With the lack of representation at the time, it was even more important that Lane was dealt an ending that she and her viewers could be proud of. Instead of turning her into somewhat of a cautionary tale, her story could have been utilized to empower an audience of individuals who saw themselves in her.”
There is one tiny light in the darkness of Lane’s ending. She had a lot in common with Lorelai (feeling suffocated by their parents, getting pregnant earlier than expected, etc,) but a really important trait they share is their willingness to always keep trying to find happiness no matter what situation they end up in. While her life did not go the way she had hoped, Lane still manages to find ways to feel joy, and she’s surrounded herself with people she cares about. And as we see with Rory, chasing your dreams doesn’t always mean you’ll end up catching them. It will always be a bummer that Lane was never allowed to have the vibrant young adulthood of freedom and exploration that she deserved, but it is nice that in the end she was at least able to use that strong spirit of hers to carve out a secure, comfortable life for herself where she could hopefully foster some new dreams.